Some thoughts about being an English Major.

Short little thing about my school experience.

Nov 14, 2024

Sorry, I have been sporadic with my Substack posts recently. My coursework, health, and family life have been keeping me busy. I have honestly been very stressed, but today I thought about what is going on. I realized that I am studying English and Literature right now… (my focus is on writing, but I have had to take many literature classes as well) I am studying English, I am currently an English Major which in itself is actually very cool. I suppose though that I should explain, while I do want to try to regain some of the romanticization that I had for school when I started last winter, I also have to admit there are parts of this process that suck. I have realized through studying English that I don’t like writing short essays, in fact, they are very difficult for me. When I write about books, short stories, history, or science and tech, I want to be obsessively comprehensive. As most papers are around 1,000-1,500 words, I find I never get to access the subject matter I write about deeply. I do, of course, have longer papers, one of which ended up being about 45 pages, but those are few and far between.

One thing I have loved is the readings. I have been exposed to so many great writers this year, and many types of writers. The only readings I didn’t care for were Mark Twain (I’ve never liked his work) and this week one reading was a section from White Noise by Don DeLillo, and although I respect what they were trying to do, I didn’t think it worked well and I had a hard time getting through it. I just felt like someone was screaming “DO YOU GET IT?!” after every section of the story. These are the only two readings I can think of that did not land with me. So the exposure to different writers from different movements and different cultures has been wonderful. I also get to read big books in cafes and sit for hours at Libraries nursing cold brew coffee or hot tea, which is, quite honestly, the dream. I sometimes think to myself while sipping sweet coffee and killing highlighters, “Look at you! You are really doing it!”. Sometimes the world seems to crack open like an egg when I am reading, and thinking about these reading assignments. Astronomy, Math, and Literature make me feel like I’m going to overflow, and it’s pleasurable and at times a little unnerving.

I will say also, that in the senior-level classes, there have been almost no stories or writings that I have read before, and I also find myself reading for pleasure more again too. I like probably many of you reading this, was an avid reader my whole life, but I went through a dry spell from 2017 to 2019, but this year I have read 25 books. I know this doesn’t sound like much, but this does not count any of the books or readings I did for school except one book (Henrietta Lack's book). So I do feel quite inspired. I also am ready to return to my creative writing projects to apply some of what I have learned so I may edit and finish these projects. Even though I’m an English Major right now, beginning in the autumn of 2025 I will be finishing a computer science degree, so I try to tell myself to enjoy these times when I excel. I’m good at the subject I’m studying because I am unsure if I will still be a straight-A student once I get into Computer Science classes.

But the less romantic part of all of this is a lot of lonely long stretches of reading and studying. I know I just said the reading was great, but sometimes it isn’t. I have many hobbies and I miss doing them. I haven’t been able to write anything except school-related things lately, and I have done no art and very little music since I started school again in January. I have taken to creative journaling, so I’m still doing something for myself, but most things have fallen by the wayside. Oh! But I still play chess most days, at least a game and a couple of puzzles. For example, I am only about 7 hours into Dragon Age: Veilgaurd. Dragon Age is my favorite game series and I really want to play, but I’m just too busy. Even this Substack article I am taking a great chance with, because I really should be working on a major project I am in the middle of. I think people don’t realize how much work college is…which brings me to my next point.

Recently I have been realizing how privileged and fortunate I am to have to opportunity to go back to school, even though it’s stressful it will hopefully change my life. To be honest, not many people have this chance. The only way this is possible for me is because my husband works, and I have a lot of support from my friends (for emotional stuff) and family. I’ve seen so many people talk down to people who don’t have “good” jobs, can’t find a job, or don’t make enough to provide for themselves and go into debt. I’ve seen these people say, “Go back to school and change careers.” and I am here to say, it’s just not that easy. You would have to take out massive amounts of debt to provide for yourself if you don’t have a spouse, or partner who makes enough money to cover you both (or your whole family if you have kids), or you need rich relatives or a lot of personal savings. Financial limitations prevent many people from pursuing college or university studies, even on a part-time basis. I do not even understand how people in my classes (especially the full-time students) could work a full-time or even a part-time job with the amount of work we are expected to do. I keep seeing this narrative where privileged people act like it’s easy to just put down your life and go to school. Even I who can (kind of) financially do this am having trouble with family/school balance. So this is another thing I remind myself of when I get stressed or burnt out. I remember how lucky I am to have the opportunity.

Some thoughts about being an English Major.

Short little thing about my school experience.

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